IZZAHZZATY

Hi, its been a while So, recently.. i hate myself. So much. I cried, Im upset, Good in pretending.. I cried, a lot. I feel relieved after that, that was good. I wanna go back home, I wanna be in my room, Wanna meet my family, My favourite people. It was sad, you need to hide your pain, I fuckin hurts man.. Then I cant hold it, I bursted it out. Shame. I wanna hide it as much as I can, as I could. Missing, but not that much, It just my feelings. He dont even fucking care, why I need to Stupid me haha blame on me. How I wish I didnt know him, He hates me, We do t even fucking no each other. But that was too late. God's llan is the best afterall. Aih. Okay that is it. Not gonna sendu for a long time. Talk later, 💛

Henlo, yea im back again ehh. Guess what I'm doing now.. Chilling at outside while staring at the moon n while listening some chill songs. I dont feel sad right now it just, it is been so long i never feels like this. Kinda busy with stuff in college. Lol zah got position in faculty so i got that responsibility gituw hahaha. Hm, what a good night for today. Kinda missing the same person. Aih I'm holding my words to release it out. Not that hurts, it was frustrating yet I'm okay. Sigh all the time, i really meant it.. all the time. "When we will text together again, the long one?" "Taknak video call ke, voice call pun is enough" "Should i send you guys some pics of mine in case u guys missin me?" "Even you guys busy yet you guys still remembering me right? Yea we knew" " Atleast send some pic juseyo..." "Are you happy? Glad to know stay safe everytime" "I love you guys so much, I reall...

Got so much to say, But I prefer to shut up. It is not that hurt-hurt, It is okay to being apart, Swear. The bad is, Missing, It is real. But i can do it, No worry, I am still happy, Swear. Hey, I missing you, I bet you do not know, If you do, If you expect, If you get that instict, Great, Do not care about me, Hehe. I miss her too, I really do. Always talk with the short one, Kinda scary but cute, The one that she gave, You know i always talk with it if i am sad, If i miss someone, You, Him, Us. Hey, I love you guys, My buds, Reading this & Get cringe, A lot. Haha See ya 💛

henlo, I'm back. Yea memang ingat malas dah nak update but I think macam sayang pulak hehe. Zah already in Kedah, Anis in Perak, Sya in Segamat, Mir in Tampin and K ? hehe adalah. Well, my life was good so far, nothing weird happen. Nothin interesting just me. Cuma adalah rindu dengan diaorang ni but you know we have our stuff to do. Tak selalu nak kena ada. Our conversation become less, but yet as long diaorang ni hidup pun enough lah aiya. Actually, hmm I don't know how to say. About K.. I'm okay without him. I've got stuff to say but I think It's enough if zah je tau. hehe. Doa la baik-baik. Not hoping anything or expect anything

Henlo, back again with me ehe. So yesterday 19/8/19. Me, nos, ca and amir went to Melacca. It was a good trip even though you know ehem another one can't make to go with us. Oh why ca ikut sekali? cause i want peneman hahaha. No la, i think its better if we bring her, saja to tight our bond back. We're totally happy, went sana went sini. It was quite exhausting juga la cause we rajin gila nak masuk any shops ada kat situ lol. Nak cari bundle but takde sedih gila. We went to jonker for our last destination, dari petang sampai malam. Yea, this trip is in my bucket list actually. Jonker street was freaking pretty, I really love the arts, the buildings.. I wuv it. We took so many picture at there, even tho I'm bad in picture but I'm tryinnnnnn. Thanks to pwitty anosh, she teached and we learned. Istg, I really regret sampai sekarang sebab tak beli gelang macam amir bought to anis. YEPPPOOO LAWA GILA ! But i know if i beli pun I tak pakai, macam a waste, yet still pr...

Henlo, I'm back. So get something to tell.. For today, i think it's gonna be the bad news, i think so.. So 4 of us, we planned to hang out dekat Malacca. Yeah, I planned this jugak since before final. Then guess what happened... He can't go. Yea, I'm a bit suprised. Amir knew this first cse he texting mir. Then mir told anis then ON 2.a.m. THAT GIRL TEXTING ME HAHAHHA. Naw, I'm oky if nis bagitau dulu cse it makes me better for knowing it first. That girl is sad, she's really sedih. What can that girl do if she's sedih. That girl is me. He have his own reasons tho, related with his family then who tf are we nak halang ke apa. Take care there boy & have fun. Well, dia tak bgtau reasons why dia takdapat join, when I "acah" tanya he said ada hal sikit. Boy, I'm sorry I tau already hm. Aih, I expected for a good day tomorrow but you know... His plan is better than us. I trust His plan. He really felt bad & guilty, dude...

Listen, just listen. What i really need to tell you, Really careful with my words. It was my fault, even it is a nature feelings for human like me, Yet still my faults in the end. Do whatever you want, you are a good human for me. Dissapointed with you same as dissapointed on myself. Wtf this is cringe enough. Hey, be you do you. Chaw 💛

Hye, I'm back. So for yesterday, me & nos went out together and guess what. I've been doing my new glasses. Lol I need her help to chose my glasses cse i taknak regret for 3rd times? Okay, next story is, both of us hanging out with Ca ! WOOOOOOOOO. Look, Ca have being our friends like a closed friends before this. But we got some masalah so we being apart for a while. Lol I selalu je in contact with her and yea yesterday with them was great. Im happy like legit ! So semalam three of us hanging out kejap kat tealive baru bukak. So ca nak beli her drinks so we wait la. Cse baru bukak so memang ramai af. Before tunggu, masuk la kedaiitu ini then tiba2 ada empty seats kat tealive so we duduk ah kahkah. After ca got her tealive kitaorang balik, dah sampai panchor got notification that I knew from him or nos but nos tengah drive so obviously from him. I gelabah cri fon and yea ..from him in our group lol. He said he wants to suprised us dekat tealive tu sebab he hangin ...

Henlo, I'm back.  Already in Seremban about a week a go hahaha. Tak update sebab lupa + malas. LMAO. A tea to spill? Takde lah pulak hm. My life, just like a usual. Nothing great. But Alhamdulillah still alive kui. Well, tengah on plan nak jumpa Anis hm. She's in seremban already. Oh ya ! I will go to shah alam this Wednesday. Bcs... I want to. How about K? Idk man, let him be. Atleast he's still alive kan? hahaha Woah I really hope he don't find my blog siot. I really hope for that. Or else it will be more obvious that I talked about him in here. I DIE OKAY  IF HE FIND OUT. I told about Mir that I still continnue doing this, he snapped cus he forgot my blog website. Like boy.. its easy. kahkah. Oh ye, kinda missing our random shit conversations. But hey.. we got our business to do kan? I'm not that person yang nak 24/7 with you cause I bet we will end up together so no worry. BABEY PERASAN GILA AKU KAHKAH. Okay guys its a joke, but still idontca...

I do not know why I'm still loyal to him. But day by day i realize it a bit and still go on. & Just realized it today... He's not a type like my other guys that i liked before. He's not care about the appearance, all his care about how he will handle a woman and how she will care and handle him too. Well I guess what i expect abt him are true, or nah lol? Okay cringenya... So I'm okay now, another 1paper left. Do the best Zah. Ps/: always wondering if my rezeki to meet him ada ke tak, Allahu I pray for it everyday. Just hoping things will go well.  See ya guys 💛

I feel the burden, a lot. I even can't handle my anxiety, insecurity. I'm suck. Good with pretending, that is me. It hurts but that is usual for me. Not that dumb to do something worst, still hoping for the best. I'm hurts, why ? Good with words, still dumb. Praying, praying, praying, praying. Stay strong, Not about him, just myself. I promised. I'm hoping for myself to be better not him. He do nothing wrong. T r u s t  M e. I can't handle myself. Anxiety, insecurity: Repeat Wanna go home. Pray for myself. I wanna cry, so bad. But it just a waste. Me deserve better. InsyaAllah, amin.

Hi geng, ssup I'm back again. Just finished my exam .. another 2papers to go.. So kelmarin (2daysago), Me with nis on call laik really a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong called. Thats us kuikui. So at that one moment, I saja suruh nis invite him, and yea he angkat but got some stuff to do so he will called like another half hours. Actually, I had a very late night thoughts everyday. IDK why, it was a random things. About my future, love life, money...myself. Then, tak tau why suddenly la kan i had this one random thoughts,,, tiber. So i told that to Anis. Anis was laik "Bish why kau baru sedar sekrang" So back to our called ritu. He was there, we talked usually, random things. Suddenly I've got this feelings to asked about my thoughts too. I suruh nis hold the call, so it just me & him. I was nervouse, istg. I'm shaking as hell but I pretend to be cool. So what was the thoughts? I asked him out. ME IS DEAD. Look...

Hey, how you doing kekek. I'm back. It's 12:46a.m. already lol. Actually my sleep routine was changed as hell. If ada kelas I nak tidur awal, if takda kelas nak lambat pulak. Student life kekek. I tried to do on diet, i'm not eating nasi a week jugak lah, least of a week kahkah. But I know it not working on me sebab I makan biskut jugak doh, lol sugar. meh. I'm writing this with my lo-fi on ! Theres a lot nak ckap kat sini actually. A LOT. First of all, Alhamdulillah me with Anis still closed. Even jauh pun but you know we can handle that. I have my other friends too like her, her, him and yeah him. So this boy, i will call him K lah cause i like to type kekeke? k LAME. K is such a good guy friend of mine. We met on 2016, lol kawan sekolah kahkah. We got so many scandals gitu but still in contact and CLOSED till now. I dont know how I can handle that dude doh hhahha. As I said we were in 'scandal' issues. Not a big deal, biasalah normal hahaha. OH ...

Hey Assalamualaikum, its been a while. Look I've been searching this blog tiba-tiba because i JUST REMEMBERED that I made my own blogspopt. damn,,,,,.  I'm in college now, it's hard. I know there's no one seeing this blog but I want make it memorial, gituw. Got so many to say... Battery laptop dah nak habis ni, I'm studying actually for my final. Wish me luck. Will be back soon. See ya